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Aug 02 2009

Socially Acceptable Alcohol Abuse?

Since I’ve quit my so-called ‘day job’ and have been working from home as a writer, I’ve developed an easy routine.  I get up, eat breakfast, drive my husband to work, and then hop on the Treadmill for an hour.  I then eat lunch and proceed to drink my face off in the afternoons.  I always sober up around dinner time and never get a hangover because I go to bed sober and with plenty of clear fluid in me.  But still, I consume a fair amount of alcohol near daily.  Now, I’m not sure if I think this is a bad thing necessarily, but I have noticed that it is somewhat acceptable for a writer (or other creative type) to de dependent on, or abuse, alcohol or drugs.

It’s a widely known fact that most/all of the great British and American novelists were raging Alcoholics or Opiate addicts.  Some people even attribute their success to their substance abuse.  I don’t rally believe that alcohol makes people write better, but I do know that it diminishes inhibitions and being creative is all about doing fun, exciting things with your medium.  So, maybe it is easier to access the unknown recesses of your mind with a Martini or two.

Now, regardless of whether or not substance abuse stimulates creativity is not the question I am trying to ask.  What I was completely surprised to find out, was that NONE of my friends or family seem to have a problem with the amount that I am drinking.  Not one person has suggested that maybe I should curb it, or stop all together.  It really has become socially acceptable to get blitzed every afternoon as long as you don’t stay blitzed all night and wake up with a hangover the next day.  I am sure that if I was drinking the morning, or suffering from serial-hangovers, that some of these people would have something to say.

So that right there is the question:  Do you believe that it is socially acceptable to drink to excess daily, as long as you sober up before bed and remain hangover-less?

<3Mandy

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Jul 31 2009

Heat Wave Killed Blogger

I knew that headline would garner attention!  I did not die though… not yet at least.

Anyone who lives in the Pacific Northwest knows what I mean when I say that a Heat Wave has been plaguing our usually temperate climate for some weeks now.  I live on the coast in Western British Columbia, Canada, and our temperatures have been in the hundreds for at least two weeks.  I feel like I am evaporating!  It has been too hot to turn my behemoth of a computer on (to blog for instance; too hot to do anything but lay in front of a fan and drink plenty of cold beverages.

Now, for the sake of you wonderful followers, I have decided to brave the ridiculous heat and continue blogging again. Yes, it helps that I now have a small, compact little Netbook that I can take to the outside shaded deck of my neighbourhood pub, and yes, the double Long Island Iced Teas do help ease the discomfort, but really, I am doing this hardship for you: my loyal readers.

Now, to get me back in the game: some shameless fun. KITTENS!

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May 22 2009

*Parade* Fun takes on Pop culture (with elephants!)

Okay, I lied, there are no elephants.  But there will be a bear in a clown suit!!!!

…. no there will not be a bear.  Okay.  I’ll stop lying now.

Well, I’m back from another unscheduled hiatus.  I’ll break it down for you guys really quick why I’ve been away: Pregnancy scare that lasted nearly three weeks and is still going reasonably strong (just waiting to see if I get the monthly enemy this month) and working like a mad-woman.  Oh I’ve been here, right at my computer desk, just hideously avoiding anything that my distract me from my manuscript.  Deadlines are looming close on the horizon now, and I’m hyper aware of that face.

On to bigger and better things!  I have a few short things I want to say.  My take, if you will, on a few things that have happened in pop-culture/ world events / blarg blarg blarg, in the last few weeks.

First: Teyona wins America’s Next Top Model. NO. Allison was much better at everything.  It actually makes me wonder if the judges chose Teyona in the end because she’s black and the winners of the show for the past few cycles have been white.  I’m just saying.

Seconds: J.T wins Survivor! YES.  Never has their been someone more deserving in every way.  And congrats to Steven.  Actually to them as a team - they did things i’ve never seen on that show in all 18 seasons and got away wtih them.  Oh, and Coach? I’m weirdly attracted to him, even though I cannot stand his personality, even a little bit.  He is the most condecending, delusional, self-important snob i’ve ever seen on T.V.  And yet, I wanna roll him in the hay!  What does that say about me?

Third: BIG Brother is comming back in a few short weeks! Yippie! (Can you tell i’m a reality T.V. junkie?)

Fourth: X-Men Origns: Wolverine was all right.. but could have been MUCH better.  There were far too many cheesy, this is Wolverine with exploding things in the background, shots to make the movie believeable.  The best part: Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool (even though they f***ed up the already amazing eadpool comic story).  He is my new crush.. *sigh* yummy, non-stop-talking deadpool, with Ryan Reynolds to-die-for body. YES.

And finally,

Fifth:  It has been announced that the 600th issue of the classic Archie comic, will finally answer the long asked “Who wins? Betty or Veronica?” question, when Archie asks one of the two girls to marry him.  My money is on Betty.  Veronica is like the Porsha: fun, fast, sexy, but costs a ton of money to take care of.  And we all know that Archie favors his Jalopy, so therefore, Betty wins.  Girl next door, you can take her home to mom - she has the whole package.  Plus she WORSHIPS Archie.  And men dig that.  Now i’ll asked my age-old-asked question: why the hell is it the Blonde or the Brunette?  What about us Red Heads?  We get Cheryl Blossom Pin-up-slut.  Stereotypes anyone?  Not every red-head is willing to get nearly naked and pose for camera’s and then jump into bed with whoever is closest.  I think we were misrepresented in the Archie franchise, but hey, we are misrepresented nearly everywhere!

Okay well that was my two-cents err or rather, five cents!  I should be back to blogging daily now.

Toodles!

<3M

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Apr 30 2009

Is NOTHING Sacred Anymore?!

Okay, I just finished watching a segment on “The View”, and frankly, I’m SO OUTRAGED that I had to write this post right away!  This absolute DOUCHEBAG was on the show, as the founder of a dating sight called www.ashleymadison.com.  This dating site is different from other dating sites, as it is there specifically to help married people find other married people so that they can have an affair.  Despicable right? I sure thought so.

So anyways, this douche was trying to tout the logic behind the site on three things: it helps prevent workplace affair, preventing affairs with unsuspecting single people, and that its not in Human DNA to be monogamous.  I pretty much just want to punch this guy in the face.  I wish he would just be honest: he’s doing it to make money by providing people with a much easier way to cheat on their spouses.  And the crap about Humans not being monogamous is a load of shit.  Anyone can be monogamous if they want to be.  If they gave a shit about their spouse and their marriage they wouldn’t go looking elsewhere for sex.  If the sex at home is floundering or stopping, TRY SOMETHING NEW WITH YOUR SPOUSE INSTEAD OF FUCKING SOMEONE ELSE.

Sorry for all the language but WOW that guy made me mad.

I seem to have NO PROBLEM being monogamous, so I guess i’m not Human :D

<3M

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Apr 30 2009

Pro-Anorexia Websites Trolled

As I mentioned before, in my past I have struggled with an eating disorder.  Though I don’t believe one can ever be ‘cured’ of disordered eating habits and thought patterns, I’m as close to rehabilitated as a person can get.  I still have my bad days, but the good way out weight the bad now.  Anyways, for some reason (probably my OCD) I still look over a few different “Pro-Eating Disorder” forums and websites on a regular basis.  Back when I still struggled with my disease the support that I received from these girls that were going through exactly what I was going through, was an overwhelming influence in my decision to recover.

Whereas a lot of misguided girls join these communities looking for weight-loss tips and tricks, there were always a core few that genuinely suffered and urged these poor misguided girls to pursue healthy forms of weight-loss.  Though I started out as a member of the community for support from the girls (since no one in my ‘real’ life even knew I had a problem), it ended up being the reason I recovered.  Seeing the diseases with fresh eyes really made me start to think about what I was doing to my body and where the path was leading: death.  Reading other girls stories of desperation, cutting, binging/purging, and starving really opened my eyes to the lifestyle I was leading.  In effect, these communities save my life.

So, as I mentioned, I still read these communities as a reminded of what I so narrowly escaped.  Unfortunately, both communities I had been a part of (AnorexicQueen and WeightlessDollson LiveJournal) have since become un-moderated.  Now, there were always trolls - ‘Pro-ED’ sites are basically a target for people who want to hurt others, but now that the communities have no moderator, it has become ridiculous.  What started out as teasing, bitching, and massive picture posts, has become personal attacks, shaming, and humiliation.  Now I agree, a lot of ‘Wannerics’ reside in these communities now because no one is moderating who gets to join, and they do need to be persuaded to leave, but the way these Trolls are doing it is just mean.

Frankly, it’s just become another avenue for the quintessential “Mean-Girl” to hurt girls with low self-esteem.  It’s sad, really.

<3M

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Apr 29 2009

It’s been a while..

Wow, took an unexpected hiatus from my blog, but hey! Look!, I’m back! That almost never happens with my blogs! *Parade*  I intentionally took three days off after my last post because I was going on a trip with my mom and her two sisters to visit my 4 month old baby niece.  She is, by far, the cutest baby in the entire world, and it’s not just because she’s my brother’s baby - we have all agreed, she really is a beautiful baby girl.  When I returned home from that, I embarked on finishing a novella that has been sitting half-finished for just under a year.

Two things proopmpted me to re-visit and complete this writing project:  nagging self-doubt that I can’t finish ANYTHING of a substantial length, and money.  Cold, hard cash.  Thought I love to work on my massive triology, writing a novella for harlequin may equal cash way quicker.  And frankly, hubby and I are having trouble controlling our spending.

On the bright side, money-wise, I did complete the novella, editted it myself and through someone elses eyes, and submitted it yesterday.  I have high hopes for it, but the publisher is picky so I wn’t hold my breath.  I also am now doing the books for my mother-in-laws business, so that will bring in a bit more cash every month, and i’m going to start doing Tarot readings again, for a small fee.  I like to do readings so i’m going to charge half the price of what everyone else in town does.

It won’t be a lot of money every month, but it will at least be something!

Back to writing, I submitted 5 pieces of short fiction to some literary magazines (most pay only contributers copies), and am excited.  I really did my research this time and think that I matched the works to the right magazines.  Man, it can be exhausting going through your Writer’s Market, trying to find the right magazine for your story!

Anyways, I promise, I shall write affluently again, starting now!

<3M

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Apr 16 2009

Does Music Influence Your Mood?

I realized a long time ago that music, does in fact, effect my mood greatly.  I figured this out by noticing that depending on what was on the radio when I woke up to my alarm really made my day go a certain way.  Needless to say, once I figured this out, I immediately went out and bought a Sony Dream-Machine CD Alarm clock.  So now I always make sure I have it set to a song that has positive energy to it.

Beyond just waking up to music, I listen to music all day long.  Usually really upbeat stuff, unless i’m feeling down, then I feed the saddness with melancholy music to get through whatever is bothering me.

Now, when I write, I make sure that the music matches the theme/feeling of what i’m writing.  So, when i’m working on my paranormal romance, I listen to Apocalyptica, or a soundtrack to a paranormal themed TV show or movie (Twilight, The Craft, Charmed, Underworld, etc.)  When i’m working on my Fantasy Trilogy, I usually put in some Loreena Mckennit or Enya to set the place in my mind.

So, I put this question to you loyal readers: How does  music effect your lives?  And how do you use music through the day?

<3M

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Apr 15 2009

Poor Miley.

Dear God, another celebrity feud has spawned - this time between Jamie Foxx and Miley Cyrus.  Apparently, on Foxx’s Sirius radio show he made some pretty indecent comments about the young pop star.  Not only did he poke fun at her appearance, telling her to “get a gum transplant”, but he then told her to “grow up and make a sex tape”.  Though i’m sure Foxx simply made these comments in jest, tacking on that she should be like Britney and Lohan and do some hard drugs, it seems a little to even joke about a sex tape with such a young starlet.

Now, I have little faith in Hollywood or any of the child/teen stars that come out of it, but Miley Cyrus did seem like a decent enough role model for younger girls.  I personally don’t believe any of these stars should be idolized, and that parents should do their part by raising their children to look up to REAL people to avoid unfortunate “I wanna be like Britney” senarios.  Unfortunatly, I don’t rule the world, and parents conintue to allow their children to do all sorts of things I would love to ban.

Nevertheless, I feel a bit bad for Miley.  She has been pretty squeaky clean and therefore everyone is just waiting for her to F*** up.  People WANT her to fail because she is too perfect.  That’s gotta be tough.

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20272211,00.html

<3M

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Apr 14 2009

Another Story

Again, I awoke inspired!  It doesn’t happen everyday, but as the famous writing book by Terry Brooks says, “Sometimes the Magic Works!”.  So I feel compelled to write again this morning.  More characters with more disturbing problems need to tell there story.  And here it is.

Therapist

 

As she stepped into the softly lit room, she couldn’t help but feel apprehensive as her eyes settled on the soft leather couch.  The Doctor was not yet seated in the nearby matching chair, but she knew he would be momentarily.  She slowly paced the room, working her way around the cedar bookcases, ending up behind the large, solid desk, next to the window on the far side of the room from the door.  Pulling back the white gauzy curtains, she looked down at the back yard of the facility she had called “home” for six long weeks.  To the day.

            “Gabriel, it’s nice to see you.” said a smooth voice from behind her.  Her spine stiffened as she turned, catching a glimpse of her gaunt frame in the reflection of the window.  The Doctor had already seated himself and was leafing through her extensive chart.  She made her way stiffly to the couch.

            “Take a seat and we’ll get started.” She grimaced and held in the urge to hurl an expletive at him, before she sat rigidly on the far end of the couch.  Her stomach turned as he looked up from the papers in his lap, letting his eyes roam freely over her body and end up fixated on her eyes.  The crooked smile appeared as always; let the games begin.

            “How are you feeling today, Gabriel?” he asked warmly.

            “Fine.” She answered stiffly.  The doctor chuckled arrogantly.

            “Just fine?” he mocked.  Her face twisted into an ugly grimace,

            “Yes. Just. Fine” she said through clenched teeth.  The Doctor leaned back in his chair,

            “Come on Gabriel…” he chided, giving her a disappointed look.  Frustrated, she crossed her arms across her chest,

            “What is it that you want me to say?” she said with a deliberate edge in her voice.  The doctor smiled at her,

            “Gabriel, I only want you to own up to your feelings.  That’s the only way I can help you.”  She uncrossed her arms quickly, slamming them in the couch beside her with a loud slap; her hospital gown crinkling along with her movements.

            “How do I feel?” she shrieked, “Horrible.  Awful. Like I want to die.  Like I’m trapped inside my own skin.  Is that what you wanted to hear?”  Hearing the echo of her own hysterics horrified her.  She gasped, her hands flying shakily to her mouth and she sank back into her seat.

            “Well I can’t say I enjoy you yelling at me, but at least you were honest for once.” He said smugly.  She cursed at him in her head.  She hated when he made her lose control; got under her skin.  After staring her down for a moment, her said, his voice taking on an almost sensual aspect,

            “How long has it been, Gabriel?”  The singsong voice both infuriated and excited her, leaving her insides quivering.

            “How long since what?” she asked, tersely.  The Doctor’s chuckle radiated throughout the room.

            “You know exactly what I’m talking about.  Why you’re here, Gabriel.”  She shook her head violently.  She worked so hard to keep the thoughts tucked away; it was the only way to make it manageable.

            “No.” she whispered.  The Doctor leaned forward, towards her,

            “Come on Gabriel; Gabby,” She cringed at the nickname that made it all so much worse, “How long since you felt that sweet drug effect slide over you?”

            “One thousand and eight hours, seventeen minutes and an infinite amount of seconds, you son of a bitch!” She exploded.  The Doctor smiled, getting up from his chair and moving across the room to the window.  He turned his back to it leaned back against the windowsill.  He crossed his arms and looked over her judgmentally.  She wrapped her arms around her midsection and tucked her knees up against her chest.

            “A little hostile today, are we?” he said with a knowing smile, “or is it just… frustration?”  He drew the word out as a sensual caress that she felt warm her toes and quickly slide up through her aching body.  His eyes roamed over her as he moved behind the couch, placing his hands on the back of the seat on either side of her narrow shoulders.  She stiffened, a shiver crawling up her spine; a flush flooding her body.  “What about the other one, Gabriel?” he asked softly.  She set her teeth and tried to ignore the heat spreading through her body,

            “I don’t know what your talking about.” She said, unwrapping and re-wrapping her arms around her thin midsection, nervously.  She felt The Doctor’s body shift behind her, closer; she could feel the heat from his body on the nape of her neck.  She could feel his breath near her ear; it made her cringe. 

            “How long has it been, Gabriel?  How long since you felt it?” his velvety voice sang into her ear, “How long since you felt the heat of another body against yours?”  She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out the memories that flooded her senses.  “How long has it been since you felt the rush of it all?  The heat?” he whispered, skimming his hands down her upper arms.  Gasping, she jumped off the couch, away from his touch, and backed up against the bookcases.  Trembling, she pleaded,

            “Don’t touch me.”  Moving around the couch with the grace of a predatory cat, he moved toward her,

            “How long, Gabriel” he repeated huskily, placing his hands on either side of her head, against the bookcases.  Shaking her head and biting her bottom lip she whimpered,

            “Please..”  Chucking, he asked again,

            “How long?”  Sighing, she answered piteously, in a small voice,

            “Five hundred and four hours and thirty seven minutes.”  Laughing callously, he moved his lips next to her ear and breathed,

            “What do you think of me?”  Blinking hard, she asked,

            “What?”  Letting go a heavy breath he murmured,

            “You hate me don’t you?”  Tears began to sting her eyes and her muscles grew weak with desperation,

            “Yes.” She sobbed, quietly.  Smiling again, he let his warm lips touch her ear briefly,

            “Yet all you want is for me to touch you right now.”  Arching her body in an effort to plaster it against his, she quietly echoed,

            “Yes.”  Turning abruptly away from her, he returned to his seat in his chair, picked up her chart and started scribbling away.

             “I see that your still having trouble resisting temptation.  Let’s explore that.” He said calmly.  Crumpling to her knees against the bookcase, she let the tears flow.  He got her every time.  She dragged herself up off the floor and slunk to the couch, hating herself for letting her guard down.

            “Why do you think it is that all of the other patients in your program are improving, and you are still lagging behind, Gabriel?”  Her insides twisted, boiling with anger, and her eyes glazed over with malevolence.

            “How the hell should I know?  You’re the head-doctor, not me.” She growled.  The Doctor’s silvery laugh glittered in the air,

            “Oh Gabriel, don’t be so naive.  You have to take accountability for your own actions.  You’re a sex addict, you have to come to terms with that.”  He rose from his chair and moved behind the desk, to the window, peering out at the lawn below.  Revulsion collided with anger and Gabriel exploded.  She flew up from the couch, and in one fluid motion, picked up the arrogantly monogrammed letter opener, and leaped over the desk, jamming it into the middle of The Doctor’s back.  He let out a horrific scream, crumpling against the window.  Gabriel jumped back, crying out in shock.  The Doctor turned around gasping and groaning in pain, the blood from his wound soaking the back of his blazer. 

            “Gab-Gabriel?” he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut in the pain, and sliding down onto the floor behind his desk.  Gabriel’s mind raced,

            “What have I done?” she whispered.  And then her instincts kicked in.  Kneeling next to the whimpering Doctor’s body, she fished his keys out of his pocket.  She ran to the study door and cracked it open, peering out into the stark, white hallway.

            “Gabriel, pl-please g-get he-help.” came a stammered whisper.  Gabriel shook her head and focused on the task at hand: escaping her prison.  She slunk through the cold, medical hallways of the institution, hiding around corners from orderlies, and making her way to a side door leading out of the building and off of the grounds.  Reaching the door, her hands shaking, she picked through the keys nervously, trying each one, praying the door would unlock before anyone came by.  Finally she heard the telltale click and her spirits soared. She pushed the door open and stepped outside into the cool, crisp fall air.  She let the door close behind her and took a deep breath: freedom.  One relaxing breath of clean air was all she could afford; she needed to figure a way out of the compound.  Guards manned the gate, and she couldn’t exactly sneak out in her hospital garb.  The anxiety started to roll through her in tremors. 

And then the demon inside her slipped out.  She unbuttoned the front of her gown below her breasts and sidled up to the Guard shack.  Two middle-aged men in uniform sat inside.  She positioned herself in a provocative manner and rapped on the door lightly.  The door swung inward, and before either guard could utter a word, she was climbing into the closest one’s lap and kissing him deeply.  Her mind raced as the guard submitted to her briefly, melting into the kiss and responding to her trim body pressed against his own.  Part of her screamed to continue this little adventure, and the other told her to hit the gate release button and run like the wind.  The latter part won and she broke the kiss just long enough to hit the button and race out the door again in a blur.  She slipped between the narrow gap in the gates, as they were still opening and took off at a dead run.  She ran until it felt like her legs were going to collapse.  She had heard sirens about three blocks from the facility, but had ducked into parking lots and slunk behind buildings to evade them.

As her exhausted body came to rest against a dirty brick wall behind a large building, she felt her spirit soar.  Folding herself onto the grimy ground she smiled and laughed, gleefully at her freedom.  She knew her parents would have been notified of her absence and no doubt the police were trying to track her down, but for at least one moment, she was her own woman again.  Deep down, she knew it wouldn’t last, but all that mattered was that breath of fresh air, and the space to stretch her aching limbs.

            Her ears picked up sirens again, in the distance and knew that she had nowhere to run, and no energy even if she did have some place to go.  In spite of the feeling of impending doom, she relaxed against the wall, smiling at a nearby cat rummaging through the garbage.  For just this moment, life was good again.

 

<3M

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Apr 13 2009

Time for a little writing

Published by msheep under Author, books, canada, my life, writing Edit This

I really searched the deepest recesses of my mind this morning for an interesting and insightful blog topic.  Unfortunately, a micro-short story was rattling around in my mind, begging to be written.  The story overwhelmed all other topics, pushing first-time black presidents, Bacon brothers gang members, and recent Hell’s Angels busts in my town aside.  So, I wrote it.  And here it is.

I met him while I was at work one day.  There he was, crouched down, lacing up a new pair of shoes.  I treated him like I would any other customer.

            “Are you doing all right here?” I asked, with a smile.  His eyes met mine and I was hooked.

I spotted her as I was walking past the store.  That flowing blond hair, and that tight little body peaked my interest.  I walked into the store and tried on a pair of shoes, setting the bait.  She came over to me and asked if I was doing all right, and the look in her eyes told me everything.

I’d been dating him for a week when my friend asked me,

            “Seriously, what do you see in him? He may be smart, and he may be funny, but he’s nearly forty years old.” I just smiled and said,

            “Maybe it’s because he’s smart and funny.”

All of my buddies marveled at how I’d snatched up such a hot young thing.  The jealousy was eating them alive.  Her body alone was to die for, but it was that angelic face of hers that got me going.  I couldn’t get her out of my head.

He was so sweet to me; he even waited for me to be bring it up, so he knew I was ready.

I played my cards right and I got her in bed within a week.

I was really choked when he told me that his job was being transferred across the country.  I thought we belonged together.

Once I’d had her, I had no trouble getting her out of my mind.  She was number 48 for this year.  Now where’s number 49?

<3M

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